Still here, just sleeping…

Hey so i know it’s been a while, I’ve been distracted, shocking i know. Life gets so busy making it hard to maintain anything. I have a tendency to get overwhelmed and as my life descends into chaos so does my mental state.

There were a couple of weeks just past where i found it incredibly difficult to get out of bed, face the world or do anything helpful for myself or others. Thus begins a viscious cycle of incomplete jobs and poor self esteem.

I feel as though im at a constant battle with myself to perform at minimal level and it is quite hard on me to feel so behind everyone else in seemingly simple areas. By all means my life isnt particularly hard and anyone having a genuinely difficult time would probably scoff at me and my war with the housework. Yes i know feeling sorry for myself isnt helpful but sometimes its unavoidable.

I want to be able to post here regularly, i love writing and expressing how i feel even if no one was to read it, in a sense its therapeutic for me to get my thoughts written out. I feel as though there are so many areas of my life I’m expected to perform at 100% and i just dont have that much storage space, theres always and area that i seem to be lacking in and its painful to put other people through that or to be lettiing them down.

I’ve had to start coming to an acceptance that i can’t be perfect all the time no matter how hard i try and that its okay if sometimes things are a mess (that includes me). Half of the time i feel like im drowing as i watch others playfully swimming around and splashing about enjoying the sunshine. I know im not alone in feeling this way. I would love to hear your successes, failures and anything learnt at the other side. Please email me your stories, i would love to engage more and connect with people through experiences and learnings. Also if there are any suggestions for blog posts or interesting topics you would like to share with me i would love to hear those too. Anyway, thats enough of this pitty party, i hope to be writing more frequently soon i just wanted to give a brief update so you know i havent disapeared.

Thank you so much for reading and interacting with me i thoroughly enjoy doing this and im grateful for the community it welcomes.

Peace, love, rainbows and big hugs.

Take care ❤
-KJ