Resolutions

Personally I value growth, expanding my abilities and working toward better habits. As you’ve read in other posts I talk of having been a mess for most of my life, it took studying counselling to realise my habits were harmful to myself and the people around me. Growth isn’t easy, it’s taken a lot of acceptance and compassion to give myself the opportunity to move through shameful parts of who I was. We won’t ever be perfect, we are human and we are messy, we can do our best though and that’s a good place to start.

choosing the beginning of a new year to create positive change is a nice ritual, a fresh start to move toward who you want to become. Theres a problem with the way we do this though, biting off more than we can chew, ultimately ruining the drive and motivation we had in the beginning. I think it’s crucial when making commitments to ourselves to change that we lower our expectations a little. Starting small can be the difference between succeeding or giving up.

Now understandably its very overwhelming and almost impossible to completely change over night. Although it might be something we want to become and it might seem like the right steps, we aren’t likely to drop or create new habits straight away. Forming habits requires us to get so used to doing something it becomes automatic, so it takes time and effort to create new ones or kick old ones. Discouraging ourselves by not breaking it down and moving slower and more carefully into the changes we wish to pursue.

So break it down. what’s the first step, the very first step in creating this new habit or kicking this old one. I feel learning about stages of change has helped me understand how we work through things and also the book atomic habits explains really well how to break or make habits.

Most importantly, it’s not going to be easy, it’s hard to make drastic changes to ourselves or our lifestyle. If we are patient and we start small it’s a little easier to push through it and stay on track. Try not to get discouraged if you fall back to old habits, its normal to fall sometimes, what’s important is whether or not we get back up and try again. Even the smallest of steps are so important in a journey of learning and growth. You can be proud of yourself for progress even if no one knows about it. We have to be our own cheerleaders because regardless of the approval we receive from others its our own approval that truly matters. Don’t be afraid to give yourself a pat on the back for the tiny changes no one notices but you because those first tiny changes are the ones that matter most in building the foundation you need to make lasting positive change.

Be kind to yourselves through making change, have compassion and respect for yourself as a person who is trying their best. The strength it takes to even admit to ourselves a change must be made is huge. Be proud of your courage to be real with yourself, be proud of yourself for beginning the journey.

You got this. More than you probably know. So don’t doubt yourself, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Peace and love and all that. Happy new year, happy new habits.

-KJ