Identity

What does it mean to know yourself? Do we ever know ourselves the way we think we do? I suppose this is a bit of a rabbit hole of a topic, one that might send you mad if thought about too much. The very loss of identity becoming your identity.

I feel like we create ourselves in a sense, we have these stories about our passions and our beliefs, stories that we create about ourselves because they are what we want to be. Qualities that we admire fuel our trajectory in that very direction. I feel like this is why our ideas, of who we are, matter so much, in a “you are what you eat” sense.

What’s your story? Who are you? What is the narrative you tell yourself, about yourself? Because that matters the most, you choose who you wish to be. I find this maluability exciting, our sense of self changes with what we see and admire in others to then adopt in ourselves. I really find beauty in our ever evolving personas, the development of our character blossoming as we reflect what we love in the world back to it. We are walking posters of that which we love and that is the purest form of art.

Trauma i think stains this mirror muddying its reflection, hairline cracks in the glass of our character form, chipping away at our sense of who we are. I feel like pain transforms us by breaking us first so we can come back, rebuild from the loss we have felt. I think this pain scares us and so it’s only natural to run from it, shut it in the corners of our mind, where it begins to fester, turning into a mould hindering our growth.

Discovering trauma, really facing it head on, is terrifying. No one wants to sit and think on the hardest parts of their life, no ones initial thought is to walk toward the pain they feel. Although it’s awful in theory and in practice to ruminate on that which brought you pain, but I feel that begins our path to becoming an evolved version of ourselves. really looking into and analysing the way we feel and what that means to us, where those thoughts and feelings really come from.

If left un tendered it begins to fill us with a darkness that slowly becomes unbearable. the further we shove our pain to the side the more it latches on, inbedding itself in our psyche. To truely let go of something we must address it. Because regardless of how terrible it was it is now a part of us, only we can choose how we go forward from it. Only we can choose whether our terrible experience is something we can turn into a positive form of growth.

Do me a favour, sit with yourself and just give yourself some compassion, allow yourself to feel hurt in a space where its okay. try and plant some seeds of goodness amongst the pain and allow yourself to flourish again. No matter how awful your trauma, you will always be beautiful and I have no doubt that you can build yourself back up from wherever the darkness has taken you, becoming the person you wish to be.

Sometimes we can’t do this alone and its okay to talk to someone, be that a therapist or a supportive friend or family member. Whichever way works for you to give yourself space to heal, to grow. We’re all different, our ways of coping are different too. So whatever that is so long as you treat yourself with love and kindness, you will be okay.

Remember to be kind to yourself and to others, show patience with the some of us who might be doing it hard right now. Give yourself and others the space to heal and a hand to hold in times of need.

Feel free to email me if you need a friend, or you want advice even if it might not be the best, I will definitely be here for you. Take care, find a reason to smile, no matter how small!

Take care, I admire your growth! Love always and be kind!

-KJ