Honestly

Honesty is everything, and I mean that. Starting with ourselves, it shapes us in the most important of ways; chooses our friends, how we treat ourselves, what we choose to do in our lives.

We spend a lot of time creating personas for the outside world, sometimes creating them for ourselves, but this does not benefit us in the way we think it does. There is no comfort, in the people we love, holding dear a persona that is only a fabrication of our insecurities. Im not saying we shouldn’t put forward our best selves, but that person must be true, for it to ever mean anything.

Our true selves, the one that holds our values, is the one we should focus on. You see our faults are not something we should be running from or creating masks for and i’ll explain why.

Being honest about who you are and presenting that person to the world honours us in a way nothing else can. We then allow ourselves to attract the people who love us so purely for exactly who we are, our faults included. Everyone has parts of themselves that they aren’t proud of, parts they never show the rest of the world, for the fear that it will crumble the persona they’ve shielded themselves with. It is so lonely to have people looking at you, but loving someone they see in your place.

Vulnerability breeds connection in all relationships. Showing our weakest parts is scary but allows someone to see that we trust and value the connection shared. Connection shows no depth without it, there is no trust if there is no weakness.

It takes practice to be truely honest about what your values and beliefs are, to share them with integrity. I think being honest with ourselves is sometimes the hardest first step because we must be true to ourselves if we wish to be true to others, and sometimes we don’t like what we find. What do you value? What do you believe in? What are your strengths? Most importantly, what are your weaknesses?

I find writing down my answers to these questions really helps me be real with myself, allows me some clarity, amongst chaos.

Allow people the space to be true, with empathy, kindness and open arms and they will do the same for you. The world is harsh, we are scared of each other, but what we long for, is to connect purely with people who love us in our rawest forms. We long to have the grace to be the ugliest versions of ourselves and to be loved, regardless. True, unconditional, love.

For this to be possible we must give that gift to ourselves. To look at ourselves, really look at ourselves, who we are, who we have been, who we wish to be. It is important to get to know yourself, even the parts we are not proud of, the parts we wish to change, and to forgive ourselves. Showing ourselves empathy and kindness for our mistakes, our regrets, our loss and the ways we don’t measure up in our own eyes, which as we see it, is the eyes of the world.

Because it’s okay to not be proud of the things we have done or who we have been in the past. We have learnt from all of that, but you must accept and forgive yourself for being that person, knowing now that it is your choice whether you want to be that person in the future.

The possibilities that being honest with ourself provides for us are endless, friendships that are full to the brim with acceptance, relationships in general with people who love you for who you truly are with people who display everything that you love about people. Because honestly, we attract who we are.

When we realise the people around us display things that are not true to our values the first place we should check in with, is ourselves.

If we choose to, we change constantly, we should not tire ourselves with changing our personas instead. By embracing our true selves we allow space to grow and learn. We allow a future to bloom that we can be content in knowing aligns with our values.

Kindness is free and unconditional, contagious, and so we can share it every day and know that we will see it bloom endlessly. Be the butterfly that flaps its wings, and changes the world.

Honestly, love yourself, and each other.

-KJ

P.s. Don’t be afraid of people not liking you for who you are honestly, it just means they aren’t the people that vibe with you, and that’s okay, you will always find people who do, and that’s the best feeling in the world. Allow yourself that!