Hurdles

I wanted to talk a little about comfort and overcoming the difficulties in our lives. The problem being that there is usually no comfort when faced with adversities. Unfortunately we often find ourselves head to head with a personal struggle and look for the easy way out, or worse, give up on ourselves (this is okay sometimes but don’t forget to pick yourself back up or reach for a helping hand).

Facing challenges isn’t supposed to be easy. Challenges help us to overcome something, to build, to learn, to adjust. Ironically the only way for us to solve problems is to face them and the more we do that the more capable we are of tolerating the tough stuff, the more patience and understanding we acquire.

Getting used to struggling sounds like a pain in the ass though right?, And I understand that. facing things that are hard, is well…hard. But it gets easier and I mean that. Theres a certain intrinsic value from pushing ourselves through hardships. Being proud of ourselves for doing what we had to to get through it. Even if that means allowing ourselves to go through the process of grieving with grace and empathy (a particularly hefty struggle that to be honest you don’t ever truely overcome, I’ll touch on this later).

It’s so common for us to ignore our problems, to distract ourselves from how painful something Is, which is okay for a little bit. It’s the long run distracting ourselves that can hurt us more than help us. While at the same time the problem is still simmering below the surface.

We cannot give up on ourselves.

You have got to have your own back. We live in an age where we are so cruel to ourselves and majority of it is false. We can treat ourselves with integrity, with honesty, which means acknowledging our strengths and staying aware of our shitty parts too. All we can do as people is focus on living true to our values and being the best person we can be in line with that, in the here and now. in each passing moment, do the right thing, by ourselves and by others.

Doing right by ourselves might mean figuring out our strengths and utilising them to tackle adversities. It might mean spending the day in bed, or on the other hand pushing yourself to get out of bed. It depends on who we are and what is important to us. whether we choose, each moment, to live by that which is important to us.

I briefly touched on grief earlier and I wanted to expand on that. Overcoming grief is not the outcome, the loss we feel never truly goes away, it might hurt just a little less one day. We grow around grief, we continue on our trajectory through life with a pain so huge that we slowly become a little more okay with the feeling, we become one with our pain. I think it’s beautiful that we will always hold that hurt for the people that we love. Although it is an ache that dulls but never ceases, it becomes something of fond memory, a reminder of the times shared together and the connection shared that we hold dear. Allowing ourselves to grieve with grace and empathy is important, it looks different for everyone. If that means scream crying into the abyss, we shall allow ourselves the space and the grace to feel that. Losing someone is about the most awful pain we can experience and a lot of the time we will need support and that’s more than okay.

I feel as though becoming one with our pain is important, feeling it, acknowledging it, accepting it. allowing ourselves the grace to feel.

Shit sucks sometimes, but the better we get at acknowledging it rather than denying it, the more we allow the space to feel content in our lives.

I believe In you, in your weakness and your strength, your humanity and your grace. Be kind to yourself, and to others.

Peace and love

-KJ