Change

Change is hard on most of us, uncertainty breeds anxiety and stress from lack of control. Last weekend I moved house for the second time in 4 months and I can tell you right now its been a lot both mentally and physically for me to deal with. Thats why I want to talk about how we cope with change, and what we could do to ease the strain on our mental health.

Now I’m no expert, I get stressed a lot, so maybe I’m just used to it. I find it interesting how when we feel our control slipping and the uncertainty of change creeping into our minds how much we allow it to consume us. Uncertainty is scary but only if we allow it to be, see the thing about uncertainty is that it’s neutral. We have no idea what’s going to happen, we can’t claim it to be either positive or negative because we simply don’t know. So perhaps if we change negative feelings associated with uncertainty, we may just be able to bring about a little peace.

What opportunities could arise out of this change?, This could be more space to work in, a garden, a nice park or cafe nearby = a reason to get coffee and exercise, shorter commute to work = more time spent at home. Looking at change through the lens of opportunity allows our creative brain to switch on. Sparking new ideas surrounding the change will bring with it a sense of excitement, and can encourage us to move toward uncertainty with a little more acceptance.

Organising the things that we can in whichever way works best for us. This will help to clear your mind and calm racing thoughts and concerns. I find brain dumping works best for me, I will write everything that comes to mind in a list so as to figuratively get it out of my brain. I find it makes it easier to organise when I can see the things I need to do without interrupting thoughts. I recommend researching something that works well for you.

Accepting the change and having no expectations for the outcome allows you to stay level headed and focused on the here and now. Knowing that whatever happens in the future you can and will get through it as you have done in the past. My wonderful friend Courtney was explaining how she feels moving house is such a heavy emotional burden because of all the energy and emotion you have had in a space, calling it home then having to sift through and dismantle all of that. I strongly agree, we can’t expect that our memories, feelings and experiences are going to be easy to shift, they aren’t always easy to experience and so sorting through the entirety of that is bound to be overwhelming. Courtney also said she feels that’s why it’s so much less of a burden when loved ones are around to help and support you throughout the process of moving. People who love you to help carry the emotional and physical weight, I think that’s really beautiful.

My next point being support, sometimes we need it but are too afraid to ask. Theres no shame in needing support be it for moving house or just someone to sit with you in silence feeling whatever pain you have along side you. We need each other. It’s a part of our biology, only natural that in times of need we surround ourselves with people who love and care for us. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it, we weren’t built to carry heavy weight on our own.

Final note, if you’re feeling uncertain: embrace it! Keep going, allow for opportunities to present themselves. Allow change to take you to unknown places, life’s boring without a little adventure. Like stones in a river, we are shaped by change, we are just lucky enough to choose how.

Take care and be kind!

Love always,

-KJ

P.s. Don’t forget to reward yourself with a, well deserved, cold tasty beverage. 💖 🍻